Newest Updates

May 7th, 2026

Pardon our dust!

...What? No, the dust isn't from working on the website. Websites don't make dust, idiot. Also, I haven't been working on the website.
The dust is from all the fast cars I've been driving! NYOOOM! And they said I couldn't update my website and drive twenty over the speed limit at the same time. The police said that. They're right behind me.
Now, dear reader, it's true, I haven't done much good work on the website lately, but don't get it twisted. You still matter. I love you like a pet fish! It's not you. Really. It's me. I've just been so busy lately. Mmhm. Working, playing, fleeing from unjust law enforcement - it's just so hard trying to find... even a single second of time to work! ...That's all!
...Okay! Fine! That's not the only reason... but I'd have to drop the kayfabe to tell you about it, so instead I'll just direct you to the latest blog post. It has 1400 words and zero entertaining parts. Enjoy.

There. Happy?

Now if you'll excuse me, the Rule of Threes dictates that the third time I mention the cops chasing me, something about the situation must have changed in an unexpected way, so I'm gonna pop a uey here on the freeway and go see what that's about. Oh, it's a metanarrative thing. I wouldn't expect you to understand. If you don't hear from me again within the next couple weeks, then it wasn't me, it was you after all. Farewell dear reader!!!

April 26th, 2026

Hey! Hey! HEY!

I've got your attention now, right? Welcome back, dear reader, to the healthiest website on the internet. Yep. Yes. You read correctly. Healthiest. I couldn't believe it either. One out of every ten doctors, when asked, will say that RLPA is the most healthiest. Now, one out of ten might not sound like a lot, but consider this: There's over a million doctors just in the US! That's sooo many doctors! ...All the ones that recommend RLPA? Oh, they're... all on the east coast.
But we're not here to rest on our laurels! We're forging right ahead to bigger and better things! And, dear reader, we need YOU! For what, you ask? Welll, you'll just have to read my latest blog post to find out. The mystery, it entices you, no? Hmm? Alright, okay. I'll give you a hint. It has to do with one of the few pieces of actual content on this website.

Do you like that I can yell at you now?

I've been upgraded! People just love it when text wiggles around. Some try to bite at their screens like largemouth bass. Honestly, we're all a little more similar to fish than we'd like to admit. Especially you; That's why I like you so much, dear reader. Because I think of you as a fish.
Anyway, not too much has changed. The moon certainly hasn't changed. Still, enjoy your time here. Make yourself at home. Maybe put on some music and just stare at the text for a while. I do that sometimes. Like every good home, there's now a suggestion box where you can write out all your thoughts and feelings. Maybe I'll turn it into, like, an advice column or something way down the line. I have a lot of advice to give people. Would you read that? If only I had some way of knowing whether or not you'd be interested in that, or even if you have something else you'd want to see me put up. Some way for you to communicate with me... I don't know. I can't think of anything.

UNTIL NEXT TIME, DEAR READER!

April 21st, 2026

Sup.

Dear reader, we've done this a couple of times by now. You don't mind if I get a little casual, do you? Loosen my belt a little bit? I mean, if you think about it, you're basically a guest in my house. I live here. So, I should be able to do whatever I want in my own house! Maybe I won't even wear a belt! Or pants!
Aaaanyway, I know why you're here. ...chances are, I invited you to come read my latest blog post. Which sort of defeats my earlier joke. That doesn't matter now! You have to stop looking back at the jokes that failed to land, and start looking forward to all the jokes you will screw up in the future! The time is now! Carpe diem! Tomorrow belongs to us! Farewell, dear reader!!!

April 15th, 2026

I'm not gonna tell you.

Nope. Not gonna do it. If you want to know about what's new with the site, you'll just have to check the new blog post.
Just read the first section. You can skip the rest, it gets... a little weird after that.
Or is that reverse psychology intended to make you want to read the entire piece??? Do I even have incentive to do such a thing???
Okay, fine! YOU WIN! I'll admit, there's not a lot of super cool new stuff to check out this week. Any time I get the chance to work on this, I've mostly spent it planning. I know I make it look easy, but this is all pretty complicated, you know! I'd like to see you try it! You're not going to, though. I know you too well, dear reader. You don't even like to write emails.
Uh, anyway, see you soon, maybe! Farewell, dear reader!

April 9th, 2026

I know what you're thinking.

"Geez-a-loo! Holy cheeseballs," you're going to say. (Yes, that is what you sound like. It's okay, I don't judge.)
"I can't believe there's another website update and so quickly after the last one!"
Well, dear reader, I'm proud to say I had nothing else to do today. Don't expect this to become a common occurrence! Just do your best to feel lucky in the moment, and then we can all move on. I'll give you a second to feel how lucky you are.


...Ready? Okay.

The biggest news today is the remodel of our gallery! Now it looks... incredible! There's also a new blog post discussing the BTS of what you'll find.
The content from the old gallery will probably not be deleted forever! It's just, well, appearances matter, and it'll take time to build each one a fitting home.
If you enjoyed or despised these recent updates and additions, make your feedback known! You can reach out to me via Instagram or at notjamietorrel@gmail.com. We're even floating the idea of reader-submitted content, so share with us your own art pieces! Plus, I just like to see when my friends make art. I think it's really cool what other people can make.
Expect an update in the next, I don't know, five to seven days, probably! Farewell, dear reader!

April 8th, 2026: By popular demand

By popular demand

By popular demand. You clamored for it, and it's here: three shiny songs, new and old, now showcased in the music page! Three songs. The perfect number, probably. Any less and like, man, why even try, right? Any more and... uh... well, I didn't feel like adding any more right now. Nothing else sounds good.
Also new: bug fixes! I removed all the links that don't go anywhere, so no more empty promises! I made sure all the pages have proper titles in the tab at the very top! The moon, did it change? No, it hasn't!
Be sure to check out my new blog post! Enjoy the music! Goodbye!

April 2nd, 2026

Oh, now what?

I am once again on a mission to prove it's a bad idea to leave me, Oliver McPherren, unattended.
This time around, I'm excited to show you my shiny new website!! I learned a little bit of HTML a while back, but never got around to using it. I couldn't come up with an interesting enough website to make.
...I still don't actually know what makes a website interesting. Instead, I'll just be egotistical and tell you all about me!

Insert header here

I'm still working on adding website features, but we've got some pretty cool stuff in here so far:

And stay tuned for:

I'll be honest, this is all just a project to keep my hands busy. Hopefully you enjoy learning about what I'm up to, and if not... well, at least I'm getting a little better at HTML programming.
Okay, feel free to take a look around! Get comfortable!

Pictured below: Me programming the website
This website stuff is complicated